How do I summarize part 17…

So, we had fish and chips, then we headed back to the Hotel…

The main topic of conversation was obviously how we felt knowing that we were gonna be apart and how dreadful it was parting (even though it only turned out to be a trial run) so we firmed up plans about how it was gonna work, how WE were gonna work… we reminised about highlights of the trip, kissed, hugged & enjoyed every second of each other & our REAL last night.

The ‘trial run’ turned out to be a blessing on many levels (and strengthened our belief in us) because now we knew we could get through it, we were slightly worried the night before that we actually couldn’t, that insanity might kick in… that she might stay, that I might go with her there and then & that one of us would have left our entire lives behind & just moved forward. That’s the beauty of hindsight though, it was a struggle when I first came to LA (as you will find out later) and had I just upped and left, it would have been doubley hard… we definatley needed to pave the way for us in some form, I had a life (including worldy possessions to get rid of) and she had a life (including people to let down) it was SO complex. We had some great conversations and formulated some great plans that night, that we STILL benefit from now….Oh, and I fucked the pants off her, did I mention that?

The next morning, our hearts still sank, it still wasn’t a great day but we had so much confidence in us that we just attacked the world head on, kept our spirits up & actually for once acted like adults (which is handy sometimes!)… I didn’t take any photos of Kylie today, I didn’t have time, I actually can’t remember much about the day, I didn’t write in the book or anything, I just enjoyed her, enjoyed us & put on a brave face for OUR sakes, for OUR future (Which was only 4 weeks away!)

The bit I remember most about this day was airport…

As I hadn’t worked out how to get back to Manchester yet, we decided (seeing as we were in an airport!) to buy a ticket so that I could fly home (which makes sense!) But my flight was leaving before hers, so it turned out that I would be leaving her! And with the flight schedules being as they were, by the time I landed in Manchester she would be up in the air and our cell phone signals would be lost… the next time we could speak would be 16 hours! Which is amazing to think of as I type this, as I haven’t gone 1 hour without speaking to her since (let alone seeing each other)…& this was nearly 12 months ago!

Anyway, after getting my ticket we went through customs & hung out in duty free for a while, went and grabbed a sandwich and sat talking about what our life in LA was gonna be like, as the time ticked away and I had to get my flight back home.

Sidenote: We also discussed what I was going to tell everyone back home, at this stage only 2 of my friends knew where I was and who I was with but obviously no-one knew I was a month away from leaving!

When the time arrived for me to go, it was in a busy airport surrounded by hundreds of people… it was like a movie. I stood infront of her, she stood in front of me, I had to go one way… she had to go another (so cue the dramatic music please) I held her in my arms and squeezed her so tightly, we told each other ‘I love you’ and kissed as people swarmed around us busily getting on with their lives as though we didn’t exist, as there are so many teary goodbyes at airports I’m sure it just looked normal, which was so apt and as I placed my final goodbye kisses on Kylie we were both streaming with tears. We then picked up our suitcases from our feet and ushered ourselves away, slowly walking backwards as we mimed ‘I love you’. Eventually we both lost sight of each other in the busy crowd, I paniced for a second and stopped, caught one final glimpse of her walking away, I gave a big sigh, wiped the tears from my face, then turned around and headed for my plane, my heart aching but full of confidence that we would be back together soon.

The confidence didn’t last long… we started to text each other from seperate ends of the airport, telling each other how hard it was to walk away, to leave each other and that we were missing each other ALREADY!! By the time I had gotten my seat on the plane, I was a mess… I was slowly getting depressed and worrying that something might go wrong & it could be over (despite her texts to the contrary) by the time the plane then took off and I had lost my signal, I had managed to pull myself together, realised that I was suffering from a rush of emotion and even though I was still depressed, I began to plan my trip back into her arms.

As I was coming into land in Manchester I took a photo from the plane and tweeted it, along with a depressing message …then my phone lit up with 2 texts, 1 of them was from Kylie telling me she loved me & that everything would be alright, the other was from my buddy Mick (Kylie had tweeted him) asking if I was OK & would I like to go over for a drink…. I said yes, as I didn’t want to be on my own PLUS Mick had lots of alcohol!

So that’s what I did, jumped on a train and went and got drunk, regalled stories in real time to someone for the first time, just to make sure I hadn’t been dreaming! and sat patiently for my phone to light up from Kylie when she landed the next day.

And that’s the end of London… up until then, probably the best moments of my life ever, the next part of this story is what happens whilst we are apart, how I sell my entire life, what my family thought & what Kylie organises for my arrival in LA.

How do I summarize part 16…

Arriving at the airport wasn’t good, sadness was starting to really kick in & we were both trying our hardest not to break down into tears, I just didn’t want her to leave, the fact Kylie didn’t want to go just made it worse.

So we bravely got her bags checked in and then went for a coffee, we just sat there holding hands, staring at each other and confirming plans about me joining her in LA, I was going to start looking for flights when I got back to Manchester and she was going to start looking for a place for us to live.

Time sped by… and before you knew it, her flight was being called & it was time for her to leave. Then the tears started, words simply became useless & so we just sat there holding & kissing each other in middle of the airport lounge, it was so strange, it was like a couldn’t breath, I felt so helpless, I wanted her to stay so much but there was nothing I could do …as we kissed each other, floods of tears streamed down our faces.

Time sped up again… a final call for her flight, so, as we kissed, I began to take photos of the moment, so it would last forever, so that in years to come they would be a reminder to me of what Kylie means to me & that I should never let her leave me again.

I don’t think I have ever kissed anyone so many times in such a short period of time in my entire life… I just wanted to absorb her, we kissed, cried & kiss & cried, all while slowly walking towards the departure gate, stopping every now & then to confirm what would be happening, when we would talk again & how much we loved each other…

When we eventually arrived at the departure gate I told Kylie that my heart couldn’t stand watching her leave, that even though I knew everything would work out, I just couldn’t watch. I then grabbed her & squeezed, the tears flowing more than ever and asked her to go… then she was gone.

So, as you can imagine, I’m a bit upset, so I grabbed a seat and just stared at the departure gate, wishing that it was 3 weeks ago or 6 weeks in the future & that we were back together again…. then, as if by magic, Kylie Appeared!!

YAY (I secretly thought) she’s changed her mind, she is not gonna leave… but no, as romantic a notion it might seem, the reason was good old fashioned terrorist prevention! Even though Kylie had an hour left to board the plane, she was still refused entry past security because at Terminal 5 (which is where we were) they won’t let anyone through with less than an hour to go till boarding! (which was obviously based on their watches not ours!!) So she ran back into my arms and told me that we needed to get her bags back… which at this point were on the plane!

We then waited for an hour or so to get them back whilst we arranged a seat on the flight to LA that was leaving the next day. (sidenote: the plane was delayed by over an hour to unload all the bags, she could have made it easily but thanks to over zealous terrorist laws, I got Kylie back for an extra day… so good job Government!)

Obviously after going through the low of that goodbye, the rush of being back together for another 24 hours was AMAZING… So to celebrate (and after checking in at the same hotel we trashed the night before) we went to a pub by the airport & had fish AND chips!

Ok, so this is the end of this part of the story, next time its the REAL goodbye (after another night of debauchery!)

How do I summarize part 15…

So we wake up on Kylie’s final day, she was due to leave at around 3.30pm.

Now the room was trashed, I mean totally trashed and it stunk of 2 people who where obviously trying to fuck themselves to death! If i’m being honest, it wasn’t a good day, infact it was one of the worst days i have ever had… the thought of Kylie leaving, of us being apart was soul destroying but I had to keep it together because I could see Kylie was fighting it and I also didn’t want to waste one second of our last few hours.

As ever, we fucked… but this time it was different, so much more intense than ever before, as we touched and held each other it was like we were trying to slow time, getting lost in the moment, in our connection, slowly drowning in each other and got trying to forget the world and what was about to happen.

Afterwards, we lay there holding each other talking about where we would go from here, when I would get to LA & what she could organise for when I got there (I have touched on this subject briefly throughout this blog, Kylie’s life was slightly more complicated than mine, a lot of things had to change before my arrival) anyway, we were both on the same page and we were determined to make us happen in the real world (as opposed to our world)

As time crept on, we got out of bed, showered and packed, all the while talking about plans and our love and what would become of us, it wasn’t a depressing time as such, it was more a hopeful and fearful time and even though we knew where we wanted to go, as with everything in life, we needed luck on our side.

We then took some pictures in the hotel room grabbed our stuff and went to the airport to grab some food and await the enivitable teary goodbye, during the whole day my heart was racing.

In the next part, we are at the airport… it’s nearly time to part.

A new blog? ….surely not!

Yes it’s true, I have decided to write a 2nd blog, a sister blog if you will… Why you ask? …well here’s why.

I have spent all day travelling around LA, looking for graffiti (including the elusive Banksy) and I have ended up with a shit load of new pics to load up. So, I thought I would do a specific photo based blog all about Graffiti which will leave this one to do continuing stories about me & Kylie PLUS other things about life in general (you know porn & sex & that!)

Anyway, give or take,  that’s the reason. 

SO, if you wanna know about me & Kylie then this is the place to be or if you see LA Street art then go to:

It’s that simple!


PS below is a taste of my new blog.

PPS I will start part 15 of me & Kylie tomorrow… so stay tuned!

How do I summarize part 14…

So we arrived at Heathrow, well a hotel by Heathrow, checked in & then went to our room… I mentioned in the last blog that we had a couple of days left and if I’m honest with you I have jumped the gun but if I tell you why then I will ruin the next part of the story.

So, for the purposes of the story, at this point, the date is the 16th March & Kylie is supposed to be leaving on the 17th… we have less than 24 hours together.

Ok. Still with me? Good…. So after we dumped our bags, we decided to eat and seeing as the hotel had a pub/restaurant type thing, we went downstairs to grab some food. We then sat there, completley wrapped around each other, munching on some pub grub, total engrossed in each other, taking note of every second as it slowly counted down to the moment she had to leave… and… errr… we watched ‘TheChampions League’ on the TV!

After the match (and an hour and a half of me trying to explain the rules of fooball) we went back to our room & seeing as this was gonna be the last time we would have sex for a while (or so we thought!) we decided to literally go out with a bang…

Now i have photos of this night, I have LOTS of photos… but I can’t post any of them, they are completley disgusting, I mean just totally freaky! We took every little sordid act we had done over the past 3 weeks and then multiplied it by 100 …and THEN added everything else we hadn’t done!!! It was the most amazing (and filthy) experience ever, I literally plundered every hole she had (and thats 4 if you are counting) as we fucked, then fucked some more and finally…WE FUCKED! (get the picture?)

By the end of our filth marathon, we were completley drained, soaked and exhausted and as we clung onto each other (although to be fair we were almost welded to other other with various liquids, lubes and excretions)… we drifted off into a sex coma!

A couple of hours later (and probably due to the odour of our bodies!) we woke up, showered, dumped the completley destroyed sheets under the bed and fell asleep.

The next day Kylie would be heading home…

How do I summarize part 13…

You see, I’m on a roll..

So after a night of rampant filth (and a chinese back at the hotel) following our day of romance in Hyde Park, me and Kylie got up and started to pack.

We were to be heading over to the Airport hotel that day as the London part of our adventure was starting to come to a close. We had acknowledged the fact that we couldn’t be apart a few times over the past couple of weeks but we had not come to any conclusions or solved any problems as to where our adventure would go next.

We both knew that we couldn’t be apart and despite the massive problems like geography, some unmentioned (and really complicated) circumstances in her life, nevermind the fact she was a world famous porn star with a business/family & friends in LA we both knew that we could not let go of what we had… we talked about where we would live, who was going to live where and how we were going to achieve it. It was a long conversation. Originally we had talked about Kylie leaving LA, selling everything she had and moving to the UK, at first such a romantic idea (and believe me it’s still gonna happen) but the more we talked about it, the less practical it seemed. She has SO much in the US, her entire business, her reputation, her home …PLUS an entire career and life of things she would have to ship… it would have taken months, maybe even a year! And I simply couldn’t do that, WE couldn’t do that.

I was in a situation (which seemed lucky at the time but to me now, seems like fate) whereby it would only take me a month or so to sell up, as about a year prior to meeting Kylie I had been in a relationship that ended quite convieniently and as a result I had sold my house & had most of my possesions in storage… which meant the timescales to us being apart were dramatically shorter if I came to her & emphatically she agreed.

She simply wanted me to be next to her & we both wanted that period of time to be as short as possible, we had wasted too much time already, why waste anymore? We would just deal with any eventualities leading on from the crazyness of this situation back in LA, together, we would deal with everyone one by one & as selfish as it may seem, we just didn’t care, it was going to happen… if you are lucky enough to have found someone that carries with them the other part of your soul, you will understand that regardless of situation or history, circumstance or warning, Love wins…. every single time. To us, what we were planning to do was so completely natural, no matter how insane it seemed, regardless of anything we have ever said or done, we have done all this before, so fighting it or being level headed was just not an option. This was US, living, feeling & breathing as one once again, like a life of deju Vu… we just doing living like we have done it many times before & no doubt will do many times again….

Kylie, I know you are reading this & I love you. I love you more with every passing second, when I look back this part of the story it all seems so trivial but I remember how exciting it was to have found you again, I will never forget these moments & I’ll never take you for granted… Hey you x

Ok, I’m gonna move on, I know most of you are grossed out, hey, at times it even grosses US out but that’s just the way it is, its the fucking truth, I make no apologies. I’m married to my soulmate, it’s an incredible thing.

Anyway… As with most things to do with us, it ended in sex and seeing as the day had been taken up by it, along with packing & talking! …all I managed to write in the book was: “Today we had a long conversation. It was very emotional. We had sex & she squirted all over me, she made me drink it. Afterwards we fell into a sex coma…. Oh, & Lemon fudge cake!”

At some point in the late afternoon we checked out, wandered around Oxford street (still talking) went for something to eat in a small cafe & then looked at furniture in John Lewis. We then grabbed a cab and headed towards Heathrow airport for the last couple of days.

How do I summarize part 12

And welcome back…. no intro to this part, so I am just gonna try & pick up where I left off, it’s only taken me 3 months to continue!!

So we are in Marble Arch, the date is March 14th 2010 & all I have written in the book is: 3 cock adventure!

This was the thing me & Kylie were into at the time (and still are) basically she fucks her pussy with a dildo whilst I fuck her ass with another… and errr, well… my dick! Crazy I know but hey, if you have been keeping up with the story so far, you should be used to it by now!

The next day ( day 8 ) we got up early, went to Pret a Manger, grabbed some sandwiches & went for a Picnic in Hyde Park, it was a bitterly cold windy day but we didn’t care… so in love, so happy, it could have been thunder & lightning and we wouldn’t have known, the world was our playground. It still is. I remember 3 things most about this day, Kylie chasing pigeons, her sat on a fountain as I took pics & snuggling up on a park bench eating sandwiches… sigh, it was wonderful. The next day was going to be our last in Marble Arch as were  going to be staying at the airport for the rest of her trip… we only had 4 days left together.

Shoot out…

Hey everybody,

Me & Kylie have been chilling out today but a couple of hours ago our peace was broken by a swarm of low flying Police helicopters outside our apartment. Apparently (we discovered later) there was a police officer shot only a couple of miles away at a school. Luckily the officer in question was OK as he had on his bulletproof vest and, according to the news, is alive and doing well. 

However the police have been searching for the gunman all afternoon (hence the helicopters) & when one of the neighbours pulled into our back alley he discovered a horde of officers had him cornered!

On hearing this, we instantly went to check it out and found that the back alley had been blocked off and there was around 20-30 cops… PLUS the now apprehended gunman!

It was an ideal photo, so here are some pics (and the news report) of all the drama & a job well done by the boys in blue.


Wikipedia or bust…

Hey everybody…

I have said this many times but here I go again… My life is strange!!

This time the strangeness appears when I find that I have my own Wikipedia page… err sorry, what?!

Yeah, you heard me…. SO, here it is in its full glory! (attached below) The life & times of me (via articles & other stuff found on the internet!) I have no idea if this is a good thing or a bad thing, I suppose it nice to have the blog mentioned (as you know, I appreciate all you guys who come & check it out) and it’s also nice that people are interested in Me & Kylie… or just interested in Kylie & I’m the guy with the inside track?!

Either way, it’s strange (to add the growing collection of strange)…

Ok, so let’s see what happens next, if it stays up, if it grows or if I get in trouble for this screen grab!


PS I have started a rough draft of part 12 of ‘the Story of me & Kylie’ (…must. keep. momentum. going!)

New Laptop… Score!

Hey Everyone,

Just thought I would test out my new laptop… yes NEW!!

Mine was like 6 years old and bought for me by some Scouse gangster type when I worked in Mersey side back in the day, If it wasn’t for my good pal Mick, it would have died a long time ago… but hey, out with the old and in with the new. I am not going to bore you with details of it’s gun metal finish & 17″ screen but needless to say it’s awesome (but the best part is ALL the keys work!)

Anyway, I am currently updating software, putting codes in etc & I noticed it has some kind of blog program on it that updates WordPress, so I thought I would give it a whirl & stick a couple of pics up from yesterday.

Just to give you a brief rundown of yesterdays activities, Me & Kylie went for a hike to one of the local parks and stumbled upon an old dam that was used in the opening sequences of Iron Man 2, the bit that hosted ‘Stark Con’. We were out and about for a couple of hours, we tried to climb it (which eventually we managed, the steep bastard) and then played ‘catch’ and a bit footy with an old baseball we found! I know its not Rock n Roll and I know we do the strangest things sometimes but fuck it, we find romance in the most childishness of things & in the strangest of places!

So, he said, trying to change the subject (Oh… and we sat and watched some HUGE hawks fly around for a while too) here’s a couple of pics from the day… like I said originally, this is just a test blog and my new laptop so don’t hate on me for being mundane!