It’s how we roll | The Andy Appleton

So 12 years ago today, my Mum died.

Nowadays, most people usually mark such a traumatic & deeply emotional family occasion with a flippant tweet or with a selfish update on facebook about how angels are now looking down on them or something equally superstitious about religion & how their loved ones are now safe with God… but as most of you have guessed by now, I have no such luxury.

I REALLY hate classifying myself as an atheist, simply because it’s a label that weak minded idiots (or religious people, whatever) give intelligent people that have worked out that God doesn’t exist & that religion is a lie. We don’t have a similar label for people who don’t believe in Pixies/Goblins & Fairies etc… so why do ‘atheists’ have to be branded just because they have a working brain & a sense of reason/common sense?

Anyway, the point of this blog is that as an ‘atheist’, for me the anniversary of my Mothers death is a genuinely happy day… So let me explain why:

Today, I regaled many stories about my Mum’s sense of humor, I told many tales about her as a person & basically reveled in the McClennan genes (that I inherited from her) …for which I am eternally grateful. Which is (just to clarify) until the day that I die when I become nothing more but a collection of basic elements & chemicals that sit around in a lifeless body.

So to summarize, (& the point I am trying make) is that if it wasn’t for my Mum’s influence on my life, I wouldn’t have been able to make such wonderful life long friends that I have in my life today (so everyone that knows me well, please take a bow) & I also wouldn’t have been able to chose such an amazing wife (although Sigmund Freud would explain this oxymoron much better than I can) but mainly I wouldn’t be able to write such long & drawn out ‘preachy’ blogs as the one that you are now reading (bearing in mind that blogs weren’t even invented when she died & therefore she wouldn’t even understand the concept)

But having said that, if my Mum WAS still alive today, (and she DID grasp the concept) believe me when I say, that she would be sat looking over my shoulder, telling me that “I couldn’t write the things that I do, & that it would upset people (PLUS God) …but more importantly, what on earth will the neighbors say!?!”

So here’s to you Mum, & by ‘Mum’ (who is obviously dead) I actually mean everyone that is reading this that knew her, her personality & therefore understands what I am actually trying to say.

Please know that I miss you & that my life is awesome because of you & what you taught me. I REALLY appreciate the job you did while you were around, believe it or not you taught me a ton of stuff & I try to apply that to how I live my life everyday.

And yes, I know I now work in porn… but can you please make me a Bacon sandwich?

PS: OH & just for old time’s sake, here’s a picture of me & you chillin out. (I know I have poo in my nappy, but whatever, we were a good team, so just go with it… it was the best of times)