Here’s a long story, short: Facebook is run by dumb cunts.
Now here’s a long story, long: So, a couple of weeks ago I was posting some links for Kylie’s auction site onto her Facebook Fan page (as I am an administrator) when I accidentally posted a link without changing the thumbnail on a topless pic. And as most of you will know, you can’t post stuff like that on Facebook because, well… err, they live in 1875 & it’s obviously the devils work. But like I said it was an honest mistake, i was aware of the rules, so whatever, slap me on the wrist & send me on my merry way.
The next morning i awoke (having been made aware of my mistake) to an email from them warning me that my future conduct on Facebook was in jeopardy & that if I continued such sinful ways i would be banned, so in order to access my page, I must now verify my account.
OK (I thought) fair enough, my mistake… let’s verify away & get on with it. So I logged onto Facebook.
“PLEASE VERIFY YOUR ACCOUNT (it said) we have sent a text message to, err, some fucking telephone number you have never heard of, simply type the code from that text message into the box below” …”WTF!?! (I said) how do I do that? Whose fucking cell number is that? How the fuck do I retrieve that code & then enter it into my page?”
“NOT YOUR NUMBER? (It continued) simply send us an email with the email address associated with this account” …”PHEW, (I thought) it’s a get out of jail free card, all i have to do is email them & Hey Presto, my account is back” So I quickly emailed them from the appropriate account & awaited their reply.
(2 minutes later) “I’m sorry, this is not the email address associated with your account (it said) please use the email address associated with your Facebook account” …”OH, Fer, FUCK SAKE” (i shouted) …”errr YES IT IS” (I shouted louder)
(Meanwhile, Kylie was reading my Facebook page that I couldn’t access as it seems that even though I can’t access it, that it is still active & still able to be viewed by my friends & family) …”Andy (she said) your contact details are correct, the cell number on your Facebook page is correct & the email address associated with it is also spot on”
So, err, Facebook (I shouted some more) WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME? WHOSE FUCKING CELL NUMBER IS THAT AND WHO’S FUCKING EMAIL ADDRESS IS NOW ASSOCIATED WITH MY ACCOUNT?
SO, after spending hours trying to find an answer to this problem in the ‘help’ section of Facebook (btw, ‘help’ is not the word that should be used for this section) I EVENTUALLY found a solution. All I had to do was email them a copy of my Government issued ID and explain the situation… which I did … 2 fuckin weeks ago!
So, as I type I have a dead account, with a dead cell phone number & a dead email address ….but not dead as in dead but dead as in “Facebook is run by fucking retards”
ANYWAY (I continue) luckily I am a super genius, so I created a backup account a year or so back & have been slowly downloading all my pics from my original account to my new one. Why you ask? Well, for 2 reasons: 1. never trust Nerds 2. Never trust fucking Nerds.
Basically (in case you hadn’t got the gist of the story yet) I’ve been transferring across all my info waiting for this day, the day when the nerds finally get their revenge & fuck me (hey, they gotta fuck something right? …I mean living, breathing Humans aren’t an option, so fucking me via ‘the Facebook cloud’ is the only option they have left)
So, in summary, the main purpose of this blog is simple… FUCK YOU Facebook.
At some stage I guess, they will probably take down both my accounts due to their incompetence or cause they have a hard on for annoying people around the adult industry or simply cause their just are too busy playing second life or some other shit that limits their interaction with the real people!
SO, for you fellow Facebook haters out there, here are some of the pics I rescued…. and yes, they involve my wife’s TITS!