For those of you out there who are around my age, you might be thinking “why is Andy quoting song lyrics by Buck’s Fizz” …Well i’ll tell you why, it’s because since the invention of Photoshop or more aptly to this post Instagram, the camera DOES indeed lie.

Not that this is a complaint, it is just a statement that acknowledges that there are now 101 different ‘apps’ or software programs now available online that can make fat people seem skinny, ugly people look pretty or in my case haggard, wrinkly grey haired monkeys appear like Brad Pitt! (yeah, i know… it’s a stretch)

Anyway, the point is i have been tinkering with Instagram for a month or so & have taken one or two pics that are quite good, one or two that are quite bizarre & some ones that are just out & out fun… and so (as i have mentioned before on my blog) I decided to share a few with you, cause why the fuck not?

Andy

PS: Buck’s Fizz were a cheezy English pop group in the 80’s that made Justin Bieber sound like a musical genius (yes, THAT bad!)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Last weekend me & Kylie went over to visit the lovely Allie Haze as she celebrated her 25th Birthday, & as ever her & her partner Chris didn’t fail to be the best party hosts ever. Not only that, they are truly one of the nicest couple around & any excuse to catch up with them is always welcome.

Anyway, when you then add into the mix Allie’s incredible BBQing skills, a gang of hot girls (INCLUDING the always amazing London Keyes) some sunshine, & then Jack Daniels… you know a good time was had by all.

As ever, i always have my camera on hand, so here’s a few pics of the Chaos that ensued!

Andy

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Hey everyone,

I was trawling through some of my old picture folders on my laptop this morning & came across the cover from the movie ‘Babewatch’ which reminded me of a strange but very true story, & seeing as i have my own website i thought i would share it with you.

Anyway, this movie has to be my ALL time favorite porno, it comes from the ‘classic era’ of porn, a time where all the girls were hot, they all had big hair, big names… and of course, they all had really big tits! This was also the era when the term ‘Pornstar’ was really defined cause pornstars REALLY were stars, they were household names, they appeared in mainstream movies, primetime chat shows & travelled the globe doing appearances at adult conventations, opening videos stores all whilst signing autographs for thousands of fans who would travel far & wide to see thier favorite girl.

Nowadays… not so much! Don’t get me wrong there are still some HUGE pornstars left in the industry but with the birth of free porn & with a new tube site popping up every minute Porn has suffered & as a result the money that goes into making quality porn has dwindled, so for every BIG star like Jessica Drake there are 100 ‘err, what’s her names’ & for every top director like Axel Braun & Brad Armstrong there is literally 1000 guys with a video camera who think that making porn is just so simple!

But such is life, we could all sit about lamenting about ‘the good old days’ (as i often do with Derrick Pierce) or we can just accept that porn isn’t what it was but safe in the knowledge that there are at least a couple of porn powerhouses left, companies like Vivid & Wicked for example.

Anyway, i digress, the point of this story is that i was given Babewatch by an Old DJ friend of mine (on VHS but with no cover) back in 1996 & believe me when i say it is crammed full of some of the hottest women in porn at the time, my favorite scene in particular is a threesome which included a young blonde starlet with a great rack, man i lusted after this woman!

I watched this scene many many many times over the years &  it was only couple of years ago, just after i got married when i was organising Kylie’s personal DVD collection of movies she has been in, when i came across Babewatch (with the cover), “OMG” i said ” i fuckin LOVE this movie” *The penny suddenly drops* “OMG, that’s you! (by this time i was jumping up & down with joy screaming at Kylie) …you’re that fuckin girl out of Babewatch!!!OMG, OMG, I married the hottest woman on the planet!!!” …and so (after my initial shock & after i eventually stopped dancing around the room singing ‘i married the Babewatch girl’) i then spent about an hour listening to her telling BTS stories about the movie, she even showed me the outfit that she wore in the scene & i can’t lie there was also some sex involved!

But wait… there’s more.

I was trawling through some links today on adult DVD empire & i discovered that even though the film is discontinued you can now download it to own! (I know GREAT right?!?)  …so now YOU can:

A) See how fuckin great this movie is. B) See how hot my wife is in this movie. C) There is no c, just watch the movie!

PS: If you haven’t worked it out, click on the pic to see the movie!

PPS: Yeah, i know… my life is wierd!

As you are ALL probably aware, me & Kylie design & construct all the sets for the current movies being released by legendary Porn director Axel Braun, this is not only very challenging but also HUGE amounts of fun, the pinacle of which (for us) is when the film is released & we see the movie magic come together on screen for the first time!

Next up (and AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW) is ‘the Avengers XXX’ a film we completed a few weeks ago & stars such Porn Heavyweights as Lexington Steele, Pheonix Marie, Dale DaBone, AVN starlet of the year Brooklyn Lee, 9th wonder of the world Chyna & all round diamond geezer Xander Corvus PLUS many other of todays biggest porn names…. infact, here’s the cover, it’s a veritable who’s who of who does who!

As you can imagine, we had LOADS of fun making this movie & not just because the cast & crew are awesome (although that helps obviously) but because the movie threw up some REAL challenges as we basically had to recreate all the various worlds from the various superheroes… all for one kickass DVD!

Anyway, check it out for yourself, it’s available NOW for download here: http://bit.ly/LtQ3To

OR, it’s available to buy here: http://bit.ly/JxHZAz

As ever on my blog, here’s the ADDED BONUS (and an extra incentive to get the movie) of some BTS shots from the making off… OH,& if you actually wanna own a copy & I KNOW you will, then it’s available to purchase from May 8th.

For those of you who’ve read part 1, here is part 2 (for those of you who haven’t, err… read part 1 first!)

So, we had a look around the car showroom & the set for Pimp My Ride & then decided to go collect my prezzies from the store, when we got there the lady on reception asked if we could wait as the manager & PR exec wanted to give us a tour & show us behind the scenes… so, of course, we waited.

When the guys got there they gave us the entire tour, the workshop, the showroom (Kylie grew up around custom cars so she had a million questions) we even got to see a TOP SECRET project they are working on PLUS a couple of specially customized Shelby GT mustangs in  production!

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, i got some pictures taken with Mad Mike & a free T-shirt PLUS a hat (you know i love my hats!)

Anyway, I gotta say a big thanks to all the guys at GAS for a great afternoon, it was REALLY appreciated & i suggest if anyone is ever in the Van Nuys area in Cali, that you drop by & have a look at thier pretty cool showroom & marvel at what they can do to anything that has wheels!

Andy

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

To kick off Andy Fest 2012, i decided that i would like to go over to Galpin Auto Sport & have a look at some of the classic & pimped out cars that they have in thier legendary showroom… oh, after we all went to Arby’s for dinner (I’m a classy guy!)

Anyway, before we set off i dropped a tweet the guys at GAS saying i was on my way & about 10 minutes later they tweeted back saying that they were looking forward to the visit & that in celebration of my birthday that they had some presents for me!

When we arrived (after Arby’s nom nom) we ran into ‘Mad Mike’ (of Pimp my Ride fame) who let us into the showroom to have a look at the AMAZING cars they have on display.

Here are some of the cars, stand by for part 2 of the story shortly… or if i have posted it, go to my home page!

Andy

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The title says it all really, we are currently on day 2 of a 3 day drive to Colorado (via Arizona & Utah) to go & see the mother & father in law… here’s the pics so far.

Okay….at long last, here is the FIRST review of Star Wars XXX: The Porn Parody. Thank you to Christopher Thorne at www.xcritic.com for the awesome review!

If you are new to my blog, our stellar Production Design team worked for months before the movie even began shooting to (re)build the look of Star Wars for Star Wars XXX.

http://www.xcritic.com gave it an AMAZING review:

Content: 5 Stars

Video: 5 Stars

Audio: 5 Stars

Extras: not yet avail (review copy)

Replay: 5 Stars

Overall: 5 Stars

Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody is perhaps the mother of all porn parodies. Clearly one of the most expensive and extensive parodies to date.

The movie starts out exactly as the classic Star Wars movie does, with scrolling type and everything. The first point you know that you’re watching a porn parody is when we see that the Stormtroopers are actually ‘sexy Stormtroopers”. The amazing thing is that when Darth Vader walks in (that’s me!) they play the ‘Imperial March’. I’m sure there’s a note or two different there, but it’s pretty spot on.

At first the film feels like a full blown parody, the first few minutes feel more like Airplane meets Star Wars than a porn.

Sex Scene 1: Princess Leia Blows Darth Vader (Allie Haze and Lexington Steele)

Ok Star Wars Fans, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for… (Porn) Princess Leia getting naked on screen. Ok fanboy, you need to put your Star Wars logic on hold. No Princess Leia isn’t blowing her (spoilers!) dad. I mean could that white gal have a dad with a big black cock?!? We think not. But we’re talking Princess Leia here who is played by the ever amazing Allie Haze. Darth Vader is (for the sex scene) Lex Steele and he’s brandishing his trademark monster lightsaber. Leia, er Allie gives some epic head to Darth, er Lex. She gives good reason for Darth to be breathing so heavy. This scene is all oral and simply fantastic. It ends with Darth coming into Leia’s mouth. We can hear the sound of a thousand Star Wars fans busting a nut to this one.

After the sex scene we get a fair bit of narrative. In Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody, C3PO and R2D2 are all digital which works well for R2 but less well for C3PO who is so far the only weak point of the film. His voicing and script are slightly annoying.

Sex Scene 2: Porn Obi Wan Kenobi and Tusken Raider (Tom Byron and Jennifer White)

Who ever decided to cast Tom Byron as Porn Obi Wan Kenobi is a fucking genius. The scene starts out with him saying “You don’t need that weapon… or your clothes.” It’s a hoot. Who knew underneath all those sand people clothes there were hotties. Porn Obi Wan Kenobi shows that he can handle his light saber just as well (if not better) than Porn Darth Vader. In this scene he shows just how much of a ’dirty old man’ he is, using the force not only to perform great oral and vaginal sex but for some great anal. Kudos to Vivid for not going softcore here and including some nice anal. In fact a lot of this scene is Obi Wan giving it to the Tusken Raider gal up the ass. It’s a solid sex scene and it ends with a monster load on the sand gals face. Tom Byron shows yet again he’s a porn Jedi master.

After Obi Wan busts his nut we get a great scene between Porn Luke Skywalker and Porn Obi Wan Kenobi. It’s a great scene and Seth Gamble, the guy who plays Luke is absolutely perfect. Then we’re off to Mos Eisley Cantina, again the music here is an absolute ringer for Star Wars. It’s here that you really get to see how good the production values are on Star Wars: XXX. Porn Obi Wan’s light saber is simply perfect and the porn parody really lines up with the original.

Sex Scene 3 Mos Eisley Cantina Girl / Girl Sex – Kimberly Kane and Aiden Ashley

If you needed proof that there are no small roles in porn, just small asses, then you need to look no further to this girl girl scene. Kimberly Kane who has been the lead in many a great porn parody but here she tackles her role “Cantina Girl” with gusto. The girl/girl scene, like almost everything Kimberly does is extremely active and passionate. We love Kimberly as a brunette but seeing her in dreads was an interesting turn. Aiden Ashley is also quite hot in this scene which leads into the Mos Eisley (Cantina) Orgy.

Sex Scene 4 Mos Eisley Orgy (Rihanna Rimes and Gia Dimarco)

We knew that Mos Eisley’s Cantina was a wild bar but we had no idea that it doubled as a swinger’s bar! Here we get two sets of couples going at it in intergalactic delight. Rihanna Rimes is fantastic in this foursome along with Gia Dimarco. The scene stars off with some great oral but it quickly transitions into full on fucking and swapping. Rihanna stands out with a very active and vocal performance, here again showing that in a huge film with a massive cast even a small role you can make a big impression. This is a great sex scene and while it’s a little off the narrative path it’ll please porn fans who want PORN in their porn parody. The scene also leads to one of the biggest double cum loads we’ve seen in a while. These guys knew that this was going to be a big movie so they brought their ‘A’ game.

If you needed any more proof that Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody was made by a real fan of Star Wars, look no further than the next scene between Han Solo and Greedo where… EVEN IN THE PORN STAR WARS HAN SOLO SHOOTS FIRST.

Sex Scene 5: Wookie Sex!!!! (Eve Laurence and Brandy Aniston)

Ok even we didn’t see this coming. We knew Chewbacca was a player, but dude… Wookie Sex!?! Putting aside the sheer logistics of trying to fuck in a big Wookie suit, this threesome which pits Chewy against two sexy Stormtroopers is actually a hot scene with some great fucking and even anal. This scene again shows that you can have a great sex scene that fits perfectly in the context of a porn parody. It’s really Brandy Aniston who steals this scene and her work on top of the Wookie is fantastic. The scene ends with a double facial and two porn stars who will need to pick fur out of their asses.

After this scene we get a solid amount of narrative that leads us through the rescue of Princess Leia, the death of Obi Wan and the destruction of the Death Star. It’s a nice solid block of movie that has moments that match up so closely with the original it’s hard to believe this is a porn parody!

Scene 6: Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo Threesome (Allie Haze, Seth Gamble and Rocco Reed)

Oh no you didn’t?! Yep here it is, perhaps the most anticipated fantasy movie inspired threesome of all time. Luke, Leia and Han Solo?!! We’re sure at least one Star Wars Fan is going to pass out with excitement over this. Allie does a superb job with Seth and Rocco and delivers another solid sex scene. It’s great that she’s even sporting a tattoo of the logo for the Rebel Alliance!! It’s really Rocco who rules this scene along with Allie, but who ever had any doubts that Han Solo was The Man! The scene ends with both guys blowing their load into Leia’s mouth.

Audio & Video: Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody is shot on HD and the DVD looks and sounds fantastic. Special effects here are extremely solid, perhaps some of the best we’ve ever seen in porn. Vivid clearly spared no expense and left no detail unchecked for this perfect looking and sounding film.

Cast: Allie Haze, Seth Gamble, Rocco Reed, Lexington Steel, Dick Chibbles, Tom Byron, Kimberly Kane, Aiden Ashley, Jennifer White, Gia Dimarco, Chi Chi LaRue, Eve Laurence, Brandy Aniston, Derrick Pierce, Danny Wylde, Bryn Pryor, Tommy Gunn, Andy Appleton, Kylie Ireland, Ryan McLane, Shylar Cobi, Peter O’Tool, Brian Street Team, Tommy Gun, Lizzy London, Jennifer Dark, Riley Richman, Benjamin Airey, Marcus London, Kyle Stone, Joe Spewgemante, Lily Cade, Kris Kelvin, J, Champ, Tommy Pistol, Kris Slater, Nick Danger, Belial and Ryan Driller. Talk about a huge fucking cast!

Director: Axel Bruan

Written By: Axel Braun and Mark Logan

Running Time: 2hrs

Final Thoughts: Axel Braun and Vivid Entertainment brought their A Game for what will invariably be one of the biggest porn parodies ever produced. Braun is clearly a big fan of Star Wars and seems to delight in transforming into a porn parody and does an amazing job of really matching the orignal while still poking fun and cracking jokes along the way. There are some pretty bold aspects to this parody including some music that’s really really close to the original as well as using the Star Wars character names and costumes. But I appreciate Axel Braun’s balls, if you’re going to do a porn parody of one of the biggest movies of all times, go for it. Axel really did.

As with any great porn parody the quality of the sex is as high as the parody. With 6 sex scenes you get a lot of fuck for your buck and a good variety of sex scenes which fit into the narrative and delicious detours. The sex here is top notch and Vivid hasn’t softened it down at all with a solid amount of anal action. The best of the scenes are the orgy in Mos Eisley’s Cantina and the Wookie Sex Scene.

Casting in Star Wars XXX is a massive part of why it works so well: Allie Haze is fantastic as Leia, Tom Byron is amazing as Obi Wan, Rocco Reed a great Han Solo and Seth Gamble is a ringer for Luke Skywalker. The only role which didn’t work was Chi Chi LaRue as C3PO, but with so many amazing performances it’s hard to complain about one role.

Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody has it all. As a parody of Star Wars it’s fun and silly, as a porn there’s enough great sex to enjoy and watch over and over, with production values that are more than top notch. Ultimately this is a Star Wars Fanboy wet dream, a porn fan’s treat and a porn parody fan’s penultima flick. This film plays out scenarios I’m sure even the most rabid fans have never quite imagined. This is a great adult film, a super parody and clearly an XCritic Pick.

***

Here are some links you may enjoy whilst we were building the sets and in post production:

The Official Star Wars XXX Trailer: http://bit.ly/AdbpGb

Our (Production Design) Behind-the-Scenes Video/Slideshow: http://bit.ly/ihiyJK

The Official Star Wars XXX Movie Poster: http://bit.ly/w8E7jX

Teaser Trailer: http://bit.ly/nNyu3l

Eve Lawrence and Brandy Aniston BTS on set: http://bit.ly/myyxlB #TwoDroidsOverHere

And Finally, the direct link to the review above: http://bit.ly/xGrgnD