Miami Bitch

Hi, this is a quick one…

So we didn’t sleep last night, we fucked like mad!

We then set off to Miami, met up with Ethan & Lexi & fell asleep on the plane (the movie was ‘The tooth Fairy; its was awful!!!) Was gonna wake up Kylie to join the mile high club but she looked so cute, so gonna give it a whirl on way home!

Anyway, we had a driver take us to Hotel, got in and err (yes you guessed it) had sex…. then we met Lexi & Ethan & the pool, met some porno people & wet for Sushi…

After returning to hotel to get changed (again) we had really fucking rough sex, Kylie actually knocked me out!!! (she does like raping me….although not as much as I do!) and then we went out to a Porn party with everyone starring at Exxxotica Miami, it was really cool, we had a couple of drinks & then went for a stroll down south beach…. we had lots of love moments, it was beautiful, Kylie looked amazing… love love love.

Then we found cheesecake and brought it back to the hotel, we are now all kinds of nekkid & about to get into bed, I think i am going to shower her with love and hugs tonight because I am such the smitten kitten…. posted a couple of photos on twitter & facebook if you wanna look….

Meanwhile, Exxotica starts tomorrow so will keep you all posted on events

Andy

No sleep…

Wow!!! I really don’t have time to blog…. its 12.15am and we gotta set off for airport in 3 hours!

So a quick rundown of the day(ish)… made a chicken & bacon salad, pushed a tank, watched Kylie getting Nekkid for 2 hours, made a cup of tea, about to finish packing, rampant filth, shower… airport!

Speak soon

Andy

Busy as fuck

So much to fucking do…..

So far today done laundry, been to the bank, office depot, made breakfast, tidied up all whilst packing for Miami…. there is so much left to do, its mad!

I really dont have time to do part 9 today so apologies

Will try & do it in Miami but there will be alot of sex so I am not promising anything but bare with me for the time being!

Back in a bit

Andy

By theandyappleton Posted in Uncategorized

Selfish?

So, me & Kylie got talking after last nights filth fest….. (hence the ‘seriously you all should be impressed’ comment!)

Anyway, we were talking about group sex & doing stuff with other people (we have been ducking in & out of this subject for weeks) and we have decided that we are too selfish to share…. is that bad?

We always planned on it but the problem is the stuff we get up to is so fucking awesome, yet so bad and so totally fucked up (with so much love!) we don’t want anyone else involved…. we just don’t, Kylie doesn’t want to share (well who would!) because she wants to keep me seperate from porn & all for herself & I don’t wanna share (I dont count the porn because its work, long story, i seperate it… but it is just work!) because I just dont wanna fuck anyone else…. now I know what some of you are thinking and yes it’s still Andy typing but I seriously have no interest in other women, my heart & my head are so totally focused on Kylie, I actually don’t think I COULD even if I was willing!!!!

So there it is, is this selfish or is this just what comes with such an intense emotional & physical connection?

Answers on a postcard please!

Andy

Can’t think of a good title for this bit…

It’s the end of the day, nothing to see here….

Just been eBaying some more of Kylie’s stuff, she has been filling her orders for her store and Ben (photographer downstairs) is playing his guitar, so all is good and feeling very chilled….

So, what else? Err… made Kylie & salad for dinner, followed by Steak & Brocholi (which I must check on how to spell!) I also couldn’t edit the podcast due to a technical issue so it looks like I won’t be able to do it before Miami.

Oh, we are going to Miami for Exxxotica on Thursday, Kylie has yet to pack, so that’s what she will be doing tomorrow, no doubt I will spend most of the day trying not to rape her as she does!

And that is pretty much it, was gonna give her a good bumming earlier but you know, sometimes shit gets in the way (you see what I did there!!) But we are looking good for landing now so I am gonna say goodnight, don’t go changing, look after mum & drive safely!

Till tomorrow then…

Andy

PS and how many times did I use the word ‘SO’ in this blog!

I’m Back

Just back from Kylies hairdressing type scenario… I would mention the trip home but it would be bragging too much! All I will say is that the guy who bought the panties Kylie is wearing should send me a thankyou note!

Anyway, according to a few emails I have got today, I am apparently the last one in on the Canadian make up dude jokes (or sugar shorts, or gay dude in prelude.. ..there are too many punchlines to write!) SO, Damn it.. from now on, I want updates PRIOR to any hilarity or piss taking!!!

Meanwhile, I have bad things to do to Kylie…..

Andy

PS No seriously, I want updates PRIOR!

How do I summarize part 8

Well, part 7 took me ages because it was just so massive, therfore part 8 won’t be so long….. after a 10 hours emotional sex epic, we needed sleep!

So, we are still in bed watching the world go by, the conversation we were having was just incredible, even though we had been talking for weeks & we knew each other inside & out, obviously we were so full of emotion we both wouldn’t shut up!

We talked about the journey we had both taken to get there, how we felt when we met, how we felt whilst we were having sex, how we felt at that moment (we already knew but we just wanted to talk about it!) but mainly we talked about our connection and how we were now both SO convinced (and a bit relieved) that it was real…..

Again we lost time, when one of us decided we needed food, we hadn’t eaten in hours & our stomachs were growling that much it was starting to drown us out, so we threw on some clothes & headed out into the world to find a cafe.

It was mind blowing walking around London in the daylight, we held hands, we cuddled, we stared at each other (Kylie kept poking me & saying ‘are you real’) infact we just kept walking around the block chatting forgetting the purpose of what we were there for (I have never smiled so much ever, my jaw was killing me)…. we eventually found a cafe & went for something to eat.

As we were sat in the cafe we just couldn’t stop talking, she looked stunning (fucked & so beautiful) and seriously, we just didn’t stop telling each other how we felt, the waitress came back about 3 times because we didn’t even look at the menu ( I have no idea what we ate, I thing she had crepes!) and yet again we talked… we talked, we talked, both of us trying to comprehend the enormity of what just happened, our journey and how we felt.

After food the conversation started to change, errr.. it got dirty, then filthy, then disgusting, then we were heading back to our hotel to start all over again (at this point we should be winning awards…. here comes round 2!)

SO we are back at the hotel, we were naked in seconds & we were deep into everything disgusting we could think of (and we thought of alot, infact we wrote a list!) God damn we were tired but it didn’t stop us, we were tearing into each other yet again only stopping to say I fucking love you (or some kind of warped instruction!)

After about an hour or so (more lost time) we were lying there exhausted, again holding each other & falling even deeper in love…  the world slipped away, we fell asleep in each others arms, content, together & finally complete.

I woke up, it was dark, we had been asleep all day, we hadn’t moved, we were lying in exactly the same position, she was cuddled up in my arms (just to clarify I am 6ft 4, I had her scooped up and it was almost like she was buried inside me) she opened her eyes and smiled at me….. wow, I fucking love this woman.

We led there for a while talking (do you see a running theme!) and so we thought we should go to the store (there was a Sainsburys across the street) and get provisons as it was obvious we were going to be up all night (again!), whilst at the store we also bought a book, a big book & some pens, we had to document this, these moments had to be written down, we had started our journey for real and we didn’t wanna forget a single second (that same book is full, we filled it over the next 2 weeks, its sat next to me as I type, the best idea ever, you should all do it!)……

We got back to the hotel room and ate (there was alot of cheese!) we also took some photos of London at night …..and then we fucked, we fucked and then we err.. fucked, it was even crazier than the night before, we did stuff that neither of us had done (and thats saying something!) we also wrote a huge list in the book of what we needed to do (and we did them all, we even added more to it later over the next 2 weeks, just wait till i get to the knife incident!) so basically we stayed up all night having sex until the sun came up….. (see running theme number 2!)

And that is part 8, in part 9 we move hotels to Kensington, we have adventures in parks & so much more (apart from disgusting sex & filthy love!)

Will try to get it done tomorrow, attached are some photos from day 2.

Andy

Stingray!

OK, so I have the theme tune to Stingray in my head this morning, don’t know why!!! but it lead to a conversation with Kylie about cross eyed people which lead to another lesson is english slang!!!

Todays lesson was ”she had a scen like a basket of welks”….. which basically is some one who is really crossed eyed!

Kylie loves my englishness (is that a word?) but sometimes it baffles her, eitherway its always fun to se her face when i say something surreal!

Moving on….. On todays agenda is filling orders for Kylie’s store, haircut type stuff, a few phone calls about Miami & then editing the podcast….

Meanwhile, Kylie is much better, last nights headache turned into a migraine but she is up and about & twittering about welks, so she is fine now!

Finally, Kylie commented on part 7 last night, she is a big cutie (I call her nom nom) I love her so much especally when she starts bing cute!…. as an aside, we also had a chat about being selfish with each other which i must blog about (huge subject), we have decided (ages ago actually) to be selfish with each other (well c’mon, who would wanna share me!!)

Will discuss later, I am hungry, back soon

Andy

About me:

Hi everybody,

I have had a few emails today from people asking ”who the hell are you , you spawny bastard?” SO to answer that saliant point I though I would put a quick bio which I have imaginatively titled ”About me”….

Andy was born in 1972 in Ipswich. It was a difficult birth as his mother was 200 miles away at the time.

Andy was fat, cheese loving child who liked to draw & obsese about Star Wars, he once set fire to a neighbour by accident.

Some time later Andy went to study every type of cheese including Stilton & Edam at the Blackburn University of Cheese, he immediatley fell in love with the town, however, this was a time when marriages between man and town were frowned upon, so rather than risk public derision, Andy decided to just live there instead.

After dropping out of University & despite stealing most of his father’s money Andy didn’t have two pennies to rub together, which was a shame as it was his only way of keeping warm, so he began to perform disco music in bars and clubs around town and even gave occasional rave type shows.

In 1991 he was asked by Maltese people to put together a disco show for Mediteranean types (because their first choice, 80’s Pop sensation Debbie Gibson had turned out to be a shit DJ).

Two years later, Xmas 93, at ten in the evening, Andy and his imaginary friends realised he needed fish & Chips so he returned to England…It was raining!

Later on some years, roughly about Easter, Andy quite literally stepped out of  his DJ Box and picked up the front door keys to disco land and was an immediate success, it gained Andy a cool, underground kudos which he described as “not nearly enough”.

As a General Manager he toured the entire country, then after a while, just before dinner time, there was some Area Manager type stuff, then a brief spell in prison for illegal cheese laundering.

In 2006 Andy caused an international furore with the ”I’m not doing this fucking shit anymore” speech so he quit the world of Neon, lights & Neon lights. This secured his notoriety with the public (plus he had a big house in Chorley). “Blackburn can shove itself”, he said.

The movie management thing then followed soon after, which was the first job where Andy’s intelligence and charisma could be expressed. Andy said of  his career so far, “By now I was internationaly famous and could pretty much buy whatever & whoever I wanted”

So Andy bought a bag of pickled onion monster munch, hooked up with a brazen strumpet and then moved to LA…….

Andy is now semi-retired and is very rarely seen, only now and again popping up on Porn sets or in Mexican restaurants.

He mainly spends his time doing his wife  ‘who is a brazen strumpet of the first order and really loves it up her’.

On his last official tour of duty Andy was quoted to have said ”No seriously, she loves it up her, she’s a complete whore”.

Andy is 38, he still doesn’t give a fuck!